Big Black Holes of Fear

Posted by on Feb 02 2009 | Singing Lessons, Songtaneous

Sometimes while singing together, the energy stops. Things stop working, clicking — you know, gelling. It happens in different situations and under different circumstances.

Like when we don’t know each other. When we start something new. When we close our eyes and cast our voices (and our selves!) into the void. When we don’t know what to expect or how we’ll be received.

Any and all of these situations can lead to … big black holes of fear (BBHoF).

BBHoF absorb and distill the energy of any singing circle. The energy gets diverted — it heads to one or two places in the circle and then drains away.

If you look you can see them. BBHoF cause singers to become very small in their bodies and to focus away from the group. Other symptoms may include furtive glances, hunched or clenched shoulders, white knuckled grips, inappropriate laughter and, sometimes, tears.

BBHoF make us unable to participate, unable to give back, unable to reflect. That’s why the energy stops.

(Hey, wait a minute! This is how fear works everywhere.)

Fear drains away excitement. It makes us unable to be open and connect or to imagine positive possibilities and outcomes. It limits our ability to express ourselves. It sends the shiny newness of our experiences down a big black hole.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t be afraid. Doing new stuff is scary. (Quitting my job of 9 years to return to music school – terrifying!). It’s also exciting, invigorating, instructive and can even be fun and rewarding.

I’m reminded constantly how much fear singing brings up for people. How vulnerable it makes us feel. How little permission we get outside of church choirs or other structured activities to sing. It makes me sad for singers and angry. I get such good stuff from singing — I want all of you to get it, too!

I commit to creating singing circles and communities where we allow our fears, face them and then let them drain away down big black holes all their own.

2 comments for now

2 Responses to “Big Black Holes of Fear”

  1. […] (Both Kahlil and Barnwell practice the method of getting people singing promptly. It’s a supportive combination of expecting and assuming that groups are willing and able to sing communally. Diving right in also can be an effective way to avoid the BBHoF.) […]

    24 Mar 2009 at 12:15 pm

  2. […] (I pointed out it was hard to describe Songtaneous without talking about singing. But I get it. Singing brings up a lot of fear for some people.) Another woman suggested I should use the description chanting (which, of course, was a total […]

    05 Apr 2009 at 8:02 pm

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